This is a rock

I studied Forestry at uni.  We were a small group with each entry year limited to 30 students.  In addition, we were posted in a small rural town for two years of the four year degree.  As a result of interacting with each other on a frequent basis we were fortunate enough to build close friendships.  

Being an 'old' course (Forestry started in 1910), there were many traditions handed down over the years.   One such tradition was Christmas in July with Kris Kringle.  In our second year one of the guys gave a girl a river rock with a note attached stating "This is a rock.  Perhaps some of its warmth and charm will rub off on you".

Admittedly the recipient could be somewhat cold-hearted and callous but, to be fair, she was struggling through a difficult time in her life with her parents arguing a lot and on the brink of divorce; she was infavourably compared to her siblings and she was living out of home for the first time and had unrealistic expectations of her housemates.  In retrospect, I would also suggest she had an undiagnosed mental illness that affected her ability to interact with others in a socially acceptable way.  However, at the time I was not as aware of mental illness as I am now and thusly less tolerant that I perhaps should have been.

Furthermore, the giver was somewhat burnt by her teasing behaviour that probably left him feeling rejected and hard done by.

Despite the circumstances around the particular individuals involved, the gesture has stuck with me over the years and resonates strongly with me at certain times.

I like to think the best of people.  I like to give people the benefit of the doubt.  I like to forgive and forget.  Admittedly, there have been times in my life where people have overstepped boundaries and I have been unable to do any of these things and I have had to reluctantly walk away.

There was an instance recently where I really wanted to give out a rock with a similar attached message out, though.  Sometimes people just don't think about the things they say and the affect they can have.

I think our society is such that consequences for actions don't necessarily reach their natural end.  In small communities, when people are mean-spirited they are found out and generally meet with loneliness.  As such, they are forced to recognise their failings.  With the way our society works people can treat others inappropriately and there's a big enough pool of other people out there for them to be able to move on without modifying their behaviour.

Furthermore, the corporate structure means that those in power can overstep the mark and are not reprimanded for their mistreatment.  The anti-bullying policy introduced in 2009 are a step in the right direction to remedy this but cultural change always lags behind policy and it will take some time for these principals to be applied in full.