Busyness

I've already spoken of switched on living and reflective practices that, I believe, are fundamental to living a full life.  I've touched on authenticity and living organically; true to yourself and your ideals.  An overlay on all of this is the pressure to be busy.  I see so many people that have back-to-back activites - Monday is netball, on Tuesday there's gym, Wednesday is social night, Thursday partner night and Friday the kids get taken to McDonalds and the weekend in punctuated with appointments and gatherings.  I see people rushing through life - doing what I can only describe as "stuff".  The time they spend bustling around in the morning and evening after work does not seem to generate anything.  It's just activity (see the eloquent writing of Tim Kreider). 

There are so many people rushing around all the time .  And, most of the time, I am one of them.  My days in Melbourne are punctuated with long hours in the office, catch ups with much-neglected friends and desperate attempts to squeeze in some form of physical activity.  In amongst all that I try to make meals for the family for the following week, plan further education for myself and the kids and collect supplies for the build.  Weekends are spent building the house, catching up on washing and cleaning at home, paying bills and caring for children. 

I can cope with this current level of busyness as, I hope, it's a short-term gig for us.  I took a job in Melbourne to pay for the build; so I can see The Gentleman Builder's childhood dream come true; so I can provide a better life for my gorgeous children and so I can spend some time with my terminally ill father, my family and my friends that I haven't spent much time with since moving to Gippsland 5 years ago.  I have a brilliant job that I really love and get to work with some exceptionally talented, interesting and stimulating people.

But I freely admit this is not the end for me.  My plans do not live a life where I am away from my family.  My goal is to settle into country living.  Not the idealised country life where everything is scones and leisurely walks (though I do plan to include those things in abundance) but the reality of country life; where I will get stuck into the seasonality of life.  A life where we will fertilise and plant furiously in the spring to be able to harvest in the autumn.  Where activity comes in bursts interspersed with moments, days I hope, of nothingness.  Where, should the weather be fine and the wind be weak, I could choose a good book from the shelf and settle into the hammock to soak up some vitamin D and get lost in another world.  I dream of a life where I could decide to pick up the camera and take photos all day.  I envisage our block set up with sheep, goats, pigs, chooks, geese and ducks; where the flowers grow in abundace and I spend many long hours enjoying the view.  I hope for a life that is reflective, honest and peaceful.  A life that is overflowing with fresh organic produce for long lunches and dinners with friends that feed both the stomach and the soul. 

I dream of, even crave, times of hard work - I am not averse to work; even in abundance.  But I believe work should be followed by rest.  Time to relect on life.  Time to share thoughts and ideas with others; time to soak up sunshine; time to let the wind blow through your hair and take your troubles away; time to just be.

Reflections of a double life

I recently took a job in Melbourne.  Before applying for jobs in Melbourne, I weighed up the pros and cons.  The biggest downside is that I am not with my husband and children during the week.  However, there are positives.  I get to spend  precious time with my family in Melbourne; catch up with friends I have ignored while we have been building plus I really like the work I am doing. 

One of the unexpected up sides is the reflective time I have in the car.  Without traffic the drive from home to work is about 2.5 hours.  Add in Melbourne's horrendous peak hour traffic (which is not helped by the lack of public transport from the outer eastern "suburbs") and the drive quickly escalates to nearly 4 hours.   

The long drive twice a week has given me the opportunity to assess my life, the interactions I have with people and the way I feel about these things. 

I was introduced to the formal term for this kind of thinking, reflective practice, while working in youth and family services.  Prior to that, for me the process was merely contemplation.

Reflective practice involves evaluating your own values through a process of continuous learning.  The Japanese refer to continuous improvement as kaizen and define it as 'change for the better'. Argyrius and Schon (1978) defined the process of double loop learning (where you subject your actions to cricial scrutiny involving the identification and correction of errors and then modify the way you respond when a similar situation arises).  Kolb (1984) converted this theory into to a reflective practice flow chart.

The time in the car has given me a new-found appreciation for the importance of assessing the decisions I make and responses I have to things people say and do.  I have found that this has led to increased creativity and the formation of new ideas.  I find that I am more analytical in my approach to life and am less reactive in the things that I do.  

I am more able to utilise Suzy Welch's 10-10-10 rule where you base decision-making for large choices on the impact the decision will have for you in 10 minutes, 10 months and 10 years.   Separating the benefits into short and long term makes the decision easier to make.  If the benefits are short-lived only, the decision is possibly not the right choice.  However, a short term sacrafice that leads to large long term gains might be worthwhile.

As a result of time to reflect on life, I (generally speaking) have a calmer demeanor.   I have much greater observation skills (each time I notice something I would have missed previously, it makes me think of Ursula from the little mermaid swinging her hips and saying "And don't underestimate the importance of body language").  I also tend to have better insight into how people are feeling and the affect my actions have on them.  I am better able to dedicate time to the kids and I feel like I am more nourished.

I believe that our busy lives mean that we have less time for reflective practice and our lives are very reactive as a result.  I think that in time when the majority lived as subsistence farmers doing manual work they would have had time to mull things over while they toiled at repetitive tasks.  I wonder how society would change if more people had time to think things through and took advantage of that time to analyse their actions.  I imagine, if that were the case, there would be a lot less tension and anger.